The Shifting Sands of Sexuality: How Society is (finally) Catching Up

Sexuality has always been an incredibly controversial topic, but in modern times, there’s been a shift in the way people view sexuality and sexual relations. Though this shift hasn’t happened without struggle—most notably in the form of conservative backlash—there are still plenty of opportunities today to understand sexuality in ways that are more inclusive and beneficial to society as a whole. In order to fully grasp the shifting sands of sexuality, here are seven historical perspectives that have led us to this point.

Sex Ed Wasn’t Always This Bad

Perhaps you’re familiar with comedian Dana Carvey’s famous sketch from 1996, in which he plays former President George H.W. Bush at a class reunion in his 40s. In it, he meets up with an old classmate, who asks how his kids are doing — only to learn that [they] have got problems ... [they’re] homosexual! he declares. It was funny in its day; but it would be unthinkable today. People are increasingly accepting that everyone has their own sexual preferences, and whether they call themselves gay or straight or otherwise, most people understand that no one can change who they love or what turns them on. There is still work to do, but we’ve come a long way. And it wasn’t just because of activists or politicians. It was because millions of Americans came out to their friends, family members and co-workers. And while many may not realize it, they were also contributing to science by telling researchers about their sexuality — helping researchers find links between genes and behavior for diseases like cancer, diabetes and heart disease. The more people talked about sex, including sexuality outside traditional norms, the more scientists could study why certain things turn us on while others don't — and ultimately build better treatments for conditions like infertility. More open conversations about sex meant greater understanding of human biology as well as greater acceptance for those who didn't fit into society's idealized version of normalcy.

Gay Sex Has Never Been OK

Although tolerance and acceptance are slowly growing, gay sex has never been OK. Yes, gay sex itself has not always been illegal—homosexual relations have existed in some form for thousands of years—but sexual acts between two people of the same gender have been shunned by society throughout time.

 Homosexual relationships existed, and continue to exist, in every culture. Homosexual relations were not frowned upon in Ancient Greece and Rome; there’s even evidence that some emperors had male lovers. Similarly, it wasn’t uncommon for men to have homosexual relationships during Medieval times. At certain points in history it was even common—and expected—for men in certain parts of Africa and Asia to take on younger male partners as sexual partners or wives. Even so, homosexuality has been a taboo subject throughout most of recorded history. In Europe, homosexuality was punishable by death until 1861; elsewhere around 50 countries still have laws that criminalise same-sex behaviour or put gay people at risk from vigilante justice such as stoning.

 More recently, there has been an international backlash against LGBT rights, especially as they relate to marriage. The majority of countries in Asia and Africa have laws prohibiting same-sex marriage, or that don’t recognise relationships at all. Same-sex marriage has never been legal in South America; it’s illegal in most Caribbean nations and parts of Central America. Even parts of Europe have regressed on LGBT rights—in 2013 Russia made it illegal to teach children about homosexuality, effectively gagging school teachers from talking about gay relationships; only one Eastern European country—Croatia—allows same-sex couples to marry.

A Rocky Road To Acceptance

Although alternative sexualities have been around for thousands of years, Western cultures generally only started to accept homosexuality in a limited capacity in 1993. That's when Bill Clinton became president and he appointed several gay individuals to his administration, signaling that being openly gay would no longer hurt a person's career prospects. The taboo status of being a homosexual began to fade further as these individuals continued to act and dress like any other person you might encounter on Wall Street or Main Street. Though there was still significant backlash against those who identified as LGBT+ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender), they were nevertheless treated more like equals—at least by most people in power positions.

 Then came millennials, who went to college and graduate school at a time when LGBT+ rights were no longer a hot-button issue. In most parts of their lives, they did not encounter much overt discrimination. As such, as they entered professional fields—such as law, medicine and finance—they were more likely to come out as gay or bisexual than previous generations. Millennials also experienced events like Ellen DeGeneres coming out in 1997 and are thus more tolerant towards alternative sexualities than previous generations. Also, many Gen Z kids are accepting alternative sexuality—which means that by 2030s or 2040s alternative sexuality could be considered mainstream worldwide.

Who Is Gay Anyway?

Gay. Straight. Bisexual. Pansexual. Asexual. It seems like every day, there’s a new label for sexuality floating around social media and pop culture at large, and it can be overwhelming to keep up with them all (not to mention figure out which one best applies to you). The number of identities that we now have to choose from when describing our sexual preferences can also be disorienting – why do so many people identify as bisexual? What does that even mean? The term bisexual was first coined in 1897, but became more widely used after Alfred Kinsey published his famous studies on human sexuality in 1948 and 1953.

 Kinsey found that sexual desire and activity were fluid, not fixed, and each person was capable of being attracted to both men and women to varying degrees. Some people, however, don’t identify with any sexual orientation label at all – instead preferring an umbrella term like queer or pansexual. Asexuality is another big one – it refers to someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all. And it may be less rare than you think; a study by Indiana University found that 1% of respondents identified as asexual, while 2% said they were unsure if they were.

 LGBTQ+ is an even broader term, and includes everyone who identifies as LGBTQ+ regardless of their gender or romantic orientation. The plus sign signifies diversity within these groups and acts as a catch-all term to create a supportive environment for people who might not feel welcome in any other space. There are countless reasons why someone may choose to identify themselves with one or more labels, but what’s important here is that you respect them and accept them for who they are. People aren’t boxes to be ticked – sexuality isn’t something that should be defined by rigid rules or expectations. You can take pride in how you define yourself, even if it means carving out your own niche on the spectrum instead of fitting into pre-determined moulds.

Love Wins

The Supreme Court’s June 26, 2015 decision to legalize same-sex marriage in all 50 states has been hailed as one of history’s most influential decisions on equality. While gay rights groups praised it as a victory for equal rights, religious conservatives took it as a defeat for traditional values. But marriage equality is more than just a social statement; it affects people at their very core. If you are someone who deals with sex and sexuality on a daily basis, whether professionally or personally, you can no longer afford to stick your head in the sand. As soon as you wake up tomorrow morning after June 26th, you will have to adapt to new ways of thinking about sexuality—and that process has already begun. The laws have changed but changing hearts and minds takes time.

 But how did we get here? Why did it take so long for same-sex marriage to be legalized and what implications does it have on our society as a whole? These questions are not always easy to answer, but they are important if you want to understand sexuality in today’s world. In order to truly grasp how we got here, you must first look at sexual identity as a concept. Even though you might not have heard of sexual orientation in school or from your parents, psychologists—who specialize in sex research—have known about it for decades. Sexually Orienented Psychologists first described three different types of orientations in their 1979 study by sexologist Fritz Klein and then later expanded that list up to eight different types.

Will We Still Need Safe Spaces?

As discussions on sexuality gain traction in mainstream media, it’s easy to get caught up in what feels like progress. The more conversations we have about sex, gender identity and sexual orientation, after all, shouldn’t that mean society as a whole has a better understanding of these things? And as news anchors and politicians talk about these issues more often and openly, shouldn’t that signal less stigma around them?

 Perhaps so, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. After all, better understanding isn’t always positive or progressive.

 Yes, we should applaud any advance in people’s willingness to openly discuss sexuality. But it’s hard not to worry about what kind of understanding those conversations may spark.

 For instance, when radio personality Howard Stern talked about Caitlyn Jenner’s gender transition on his show in April 2015, saying he wouldn’t even recognize her if he passed her on a street corner and making comments like It takes just as much work to become a woman as it does to become a man, what was he really saying? That Bruce Jenner had now magically become a woman because he wears women’s clothing and prefers female pronouns?