How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries as a Christian Youth

Maintaining healthy boundaries isn’t always easy, especially when you’re surrounded by people who don’t seem to have any boundaries of their own and continue to try to take advantage of you. Luckily, it’s not hard to set boundaries, especially if you’re grounded in God’s word and have something to refer back to as you define your personal boundaries based on what the Bible says about right and wrong. Follow these tips on how to maintain healthy boundaries as a Christian youth and set yourself up for success now and into the future!

Knowing what we stand for

There are few things more important in life than knowing what we stand for. It’s our foundation, our stability. Our identity. If you want to maintain healthy boundaries with your friends and acquaintances, it’s crucial that you know what kind of person you are; how far you can go before crossing that line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior or speech; when it’s okay to deviate from accepted social norms; what is too much sharing. Knowing yourself will help keep those boundaries in place—even if your friends push against them or try to break them down entirely. To start identifying who you are and what you believe, ask yourself questions like: What do I value? What am I passionate about? Where do my morals come from? Why am I doing what I’m doing? Once you have an idea of where your values lie, think about situations where they might be challenged. How would you respond to certain types of comments or actions by people around you? Are there times when a friend may question whether something is okay but he knows it isn't because he knows his limits? Do some role-playing so that eventually these situations become second nature to him. The next time someone tries to cross one of your personal boundaries (in real life or online), he'll be prepared with an answer ready at hand. And maybe even some boundary lines drawn on his own skin. 

Using God's word: Of course, having an understanding of who you are is essential for developing healthy boundaries—but not nearly as important as relying on God's Word to tell you exactly what those lines should be. After all, we're called Christians first and foremost because we're followers of Christ. We live according to His teachings. And His Word tells us clearly how to treat others, both inside and outside our faith community. So if you want to know where your personal boundaries lie, look no further than Scripture. There's nothing more powerful than God’s Word when it comes to setting limits with friends and family members—or even strangers. The Bible has answers for every situation imaginable; just flip open your Bible (or pull up your phone) and start reading! If there’s something that seems unclear or confusing, pray about it and ask God to help guide you in making decisions that honor Him and bring glory to His name. Because ultimately that’s what matters most when it comes to knowing where your personal boundaries lie: keeping them firmly in place so that they don't get crossed over by anything or anyone else.

Knowing our rights

When it comes to navigating boundaries, you can’t get too clear on your rights. If you don’t know what your limits are, how will you be able to protect them? Jesus certainly had some boundaries, and so should we. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:29 that no foul language should come from our mouths, but only such as is good for building others up according to their needs. There is no debate about what he was saying here—and it applies across all spectrums of life. It doesn't matter if you're trying to establish a healthy relationship with someone or merely being courteous at work; being aware of and abiding by healthy limits is always encouraged. This also means knowing when it's okay to push those limits. For example, let's say your parents set strict rules against swearing. They've told you that doing so is a big deal and they won't hesitate to take away privileges if they catch you cursing—even once. One day while hanging out with friends, one of them drops an F-bomb within earshot of an adult relative visiting from out of town. He quickly apologizes and explains he didn't mean anything by it. Your friend then turns to you and asks, Hey man, can I get a pass? You have two options: Tell him off for swearing in front of your aunt (which may cause conflict between her and your parents) or simply ask him not to do it again. While telling him off might seem like taking care of business, doing so could actually create more problems than it solves. Not only would you risk getting into trouble yourself (for defending his actions), but you'd also lose credibility with your friend who would feel disrespected by your response. Instead, just tell him not to do it again—and hope that he doesn't make any excuses next time around!

Keeping communication open

Communication is one of your best weapons in any relationship. This can be especially true when it comes to maintaining healthy boundaries with friends and family. If someone crosses boundaries, communicate clearly where they were crossed and what you need from them in order for you to feel better. Keep things honest and straightforward while still being kind and avoid holding grudges. Remember that people are fallible, but you’re not required to carry their baggage along with yours or give them grace for their mistakes when they haven’t apologized for those mistakes themselves. When people come clean about their faults, you have no obligation—even if they apologize—to pretend that everything is fine just because they asked nicely or guilt-tripped you into forgiving them. You don’t owe anyone anything beyond basic human decency.

Making our needs known

We can’t expect people around us to know what we need if we don’t let them know. When it comes to setting boundaries with our parents, siblings and friends, it’s important that they recognize our needs and understand how best to support us. One way of making sure they do is being proactive in telling them what you need. For example, if you want your brother not to bring his friends over when you have plans with your friends on Friday night, tell him what’s going on and ask him to work with you instead of against you. He may not see it at first but getting your input out there will help set things straight faster than waiting for a misunderstanding (or worse, an argument) later on. You may also be surprised by how willing others are to accommodate your wishes—it never hurts to put yourself out there!

Having time away from others

Having a break from other people allows you time to spend with yourself and God. It gives you an opportunity to reflect on what’s going well in your life, but it also lets you address problems or negative emotions that are affecting your life and possibly hindering your walk with God. You can also create space for God in those times when He wants to work on things that are out of our control, like our environment or physical health. If you have no free time at all, it may be difficult to see how God is working in your life. When we have no free time, we don’t see ourselves clearly either—we tend to focus on our flaws rather than our strengths. Spending some time alone will help you gain perspective and recognize that God is at work even when he doesn’t seem apparent. When was the last time you had some me-time? If it has been a while, make sure there is at least one day each week where you do something just for yourself. This could be anything from taking a walk around your neighborhood by yourself or spending an hour reading a book before bed instead of watching TV with friends.

Not giving into peer pressure

Peer pressure is one of those things that can be very difficult for youth. It can be especially tough when you’re around people who are in with all the cool kids and doing things that may seem fun or exciting in an attempt to fit in. However, it’s important for young Christians to remember not to fall into peer pressure, which can easily lead us astray from God. Instead, we should focus on doing what feels right and staying true to God and our own beliefs. The Bible says For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time ...

To write about how teenagers should maintain healthy boundaries between themselves and their peers while they're still growing. They will need these boundaries even more later in life so they don't get hurt by others too much. Parents need them too! Especially if they have younger children at home like me!